Two of my most hilarious sleepwalking incidents...

by Candy
(Finland)

For the first, I was having a special morning with my ten-year-old child who was about to take off for a camping expedition with her schoolmates.

I was told that I made breakfast as usual, checked all her gear for the trip, left soon enough to catch the bus at the schoolyard----- and that was where I finally woke up. Hello, world! What the heck ma I doing here!

Well, all went well in this case, but could have been an lot worse, right? What if I had driven somewhere else or nowhere at all? Mistaken about the timetable? Or whatever else...


Secondly, (and this actually happened only yesterday) I once again woke up with my daughter after a very brief night's sleep (1-3 hours). I went downstairs and started to do the dishes. This was a dreadful mistake. My dauhgter later described it as "trying to wash up and break some Pip dishes in the process". All righty. My beloved Pips! Darn! Zum Teufel! Then she said I verbally really doubted myself for being a lousy mother and that she secretly wanted to move to her dad's (whose new wife she considers to be a bully not to say a stupid one)... I also managed to cook up something reminding of "a slimy thing with raw fusilli pasta", all in vain, since the whole of it got binned in the end.

Also, when making sandwiches (or -witches in this case apparently), I was cutting white bread with a knife. The child, on the contrary, satisfied herself with ready-sliced (although baked with rye, which is considered to be extremely heathly) bread. My comment (as it appears) was something like this: "(with an upper-class nasal:) Oh, so you are going for this industrially procedured shit, now are you?"

And I never woke up until the next day when I was enlightened with these facts...