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Thinking of Leaving My Partner Due To Different Sleep Schedules

I need 8 hours of sleep a night to be functional, 9 to 9.5 to get at my best. I haven't gotten this amount of sleep on a remotely consistent basis since I moved in with my partner 3 years ago. She's a night owl and is able to sleep in to get the sleep she needs, but even when I'm not working sleeping late only makes me feel depressed.


We have a small apartment and can't afford a bigger one, so I don't have my own bedroom, which would make the situation much more bearable. Unless she matches her sleep schedule to my own, or can tolerate me going to bed at 9pm (which so far she hasn't), I think that our relationship is going to have to end.

I've discovered that sleep is more important to some people than others--and it's paramount to my own functioning.

Comments for Thinking of Leaving My Partner Due To Different Sleep Schedules

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Oct 14, 2014
 Totally relate NEW
by: Anonymous

My Husband doesn't have to be to work until 11 am which means he doesn't go to bed until 12:30 sometimes 1am at night. I just threw away a job because I could not get the rest I needed. We too have a small flat and he has refused to make his office a second bedroom. Both of us had always slept alone until we met. I'm sick at the thought I had to resign from my job after it took so long to get it. Double difficult because I have no money to leave him. I think you are right to ditch your relationship. Its not worth it.
Oct 14, 2014
 Totally relate NEW
by: Anonymous

My Husband doesn't have to be to work until 11 am which means he doesn't go to bed until 12:30 sometimes 1am at night. I just threw away a job because I could not get the rest I needed. We too have a small flat and he has refused to make his office a second bedroom. Both of us had always slept alone until we met. I'm sick at the thought I had to resign from my job after it took so long to get it. Double difficult because I have no money to leave him. I think you are right to ditch your relationship. Its not worth it.
Aug 07, 2015
 sleep debt NEW
by: Anonymous

my partner works nights,sleeping as little as 3hrs per day!he stays with me one night a week,but that night his night off he likes to stay up until the early hours!it cripples me,and takes me all week to catch up.some people who don't need much sleep don't have the consideration for those that do!

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Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

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