Stuff Our Crazy Family Does In Our Sleep

by Kris
(Victoria, BC, Canada)

My mother talks in her sleep and you can converse with her, so you need to double check if she asks you to do something crazy. She flails. She bit my finger almost off when I was a baby sleeping with her. She has bit her husband, and has leapt from the bed in a dream, injuring herself, requiring stitches to her head.

I have always been a sleepwalker, and so has my daughter. In her case it is mild. Mostly she'll get up and walk into her closed bedroom door or go to the bathroom. She'll lay in bed and talk gibberish while she is dreaming.

My son has rarely done the same. He has acted slightly possessed, sitting up suddenly in his sleep staring eyes wide open intensely staring at people.

I am the worst. I have always been a sleepwalker. I yell in my sleep. I act out my dreams, flapping my arms when I fly like a bird in my sleep. I have kicked, punched, grabbed, and generally assaulted my spouse in my sleep over the years during extremely vivid dreams of being attacked by muggers, zombies, etc etc. I was recently rowing a boat in my sleep until my wife woke me up asking me what the hell I was doing rowing with her arm. I grabbed her face last night. I punched a car jacker in the face one night. It turned out to be the back of my wife's head. It injured her head and my hand. I was paralyzed with fear and being attacked by zombies the other night and I yelled help so loud it scared the hell out of my wife in the night. Another time my wife said that I somehow came crashing down on the bed. She wasn't sure if I jumped up, or perhaps was standing or...., but when asked, I responded that I had been levitating in my dream and I lost it and came crashing down. I used to move furniture around the house sometimes when sleeping as a child. Now I often will go to the kitchen and make peanut butter sandwiches etc in my sleep and wake up in the morning to find the kitchen a mess.

I snore like a chainsaw now. It used to just be when I was really drunk in my twenties, but now it is almost every night, although I don't get drunk regularly, and don't drink daily. I sometimes wake up my daughter in the basement.

I must have the combo platter of sleep disorders. I am 42 and my wife has had it with me, so I am getting some tests and seeking treatment (apnea or whatever).

My wife says I am psychotic.