Sleep paralysis, lucid dreaming, and hypnopompic imagery
by Patrick
(Hephzibah, Ga., United States)
I am 34 years old, and I have been experiencing sleep paralysis / lucid dreaming / hypnopompic imagery episodes for over 20 years. Years ago I was diagnosed with a disorder involving repressed memories. Basically I have extremely violent and terrifying nightmares that are repressed violent childhood memories resurfacing.
What is more terrifying is the sleep paralysis episodes that will often occur along with these dreams. I wake from a nightmare to find myself unable to move. I can see and hear everything going on in my bedroom and my breathing seems very shallow or even strained, but I cannot move. I try to call for my wife or even reach out and touch her but I am unable to.
During these episodes I can “sense” and even sometimes see a “dark presence” in my bedroom. It is never a very clear image. Usually only a silhouette or shadow, but that makes it all the more terrifying.
When I finally come fully awake and I can finally move I usually will experience a mild to extreme panic attack, and an extreme sense of paranoia. I had an episode similar to this early this morning. The temperatures here have become very pleasant at night so I usually have my bedroom window open, and a fan running. Upon coming fully awake I was so terrified that someone was going to come in through the window that I closed it, and closed the curtains.
There have been other episodes where when I fully
awaken I have come up out of the bed screaming at the top of my lungs and swinging my fists for all I am worth to fight off a dreamed up attacker. This is also a terrifying experience for my wife. She has learned to recognize when I am having a nightmare, and she will get up out of the bed, move across the room, and call out gently to me to help me wake up.
I have studied and researched sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming on and off for many years, and I am well aware of what is causing these episodes. I am also well aware that they are more or less harmless. However, that does not make them any less terrifying. This is a serious long term problem for me that has resulted in what I would consider to be a serious case of long term unhealthy sleep hygiene. As I am sure anyone reading this is aware, sleep is when your body repairs itself, and because of a long term lack of healthy sleep I have developed several health problems including some mental health problems. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, irritability, etc.
I have yet to find a viable solution to this problem. Reading about the association between sleep apnea and sleep paralysis has given me a direction to look to though. It is my intention in the near future to seek the assistance of a sleep disorder specialist. Hopefully I can find a solution through this avenue.
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