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Question: Sleep Talking By Rape Victim

by Michael
(Durham, NC)

My wife of four weeks now has had sleep talking issues apparently for a long time. This was noticed by me since we first started dating that she has reoccuring episodes of sleep talking stemming back into 1999 when she fell victim to an ex boyfriend being thrown into jail for a drug offense. She tried helping him through his addiction but was caught selling also. He thinks she ratted him out and had broken out of jail and found her, raped her and so on...


He is no longer a threat to her, he has come to his demise in jail.

Now at night during her inhaling and exhaling in breath she will distinctly say rape and his name over and over for more than half an hour or so... become restless sleeping and change positions and then POOF, it all goes away and could be fine the rest of the night. This is amongst other words or sometimes small three word or so sentences...and at times but not too often seemingly act out scenarios of it like blocking someone hitting her and her raising her arm to defend herself.

We have done an amount of taping sessions and you can make out words that are clear and at times disturbing because it also leads at times into when they dated and comments.

It has freaked her out. She thinks it is going to cause our relationship to decline but I have come to the conclusion it may not be able to be saved and not grin and bare it.

I know for a fact that she does not remember it. Her thought of the incident pop up from time to time if there is a scene in a movie or tv show but she tries to block that out. She does well with it.

Is there anything that can be done to change the subconscious?
She never remembers any of it but wakes me quite often, so there I listen. After this happened and yet three years of counseling for her back then it seems to be embedded VERY deep. What could be our options?

Thank you for listening.

Comments for Question: Sleep Talking By Rape Victim

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Dec 28, 2022
 Emdr NEW
by: Anonymous

I can’t tell when this was posted, I hope she’s moved past this. If she hasn’t, however, emdr therapy seems promising for reaching those deeper issues if you can’t seem to get to them. Meditation, soul searching.. if it’s still coming up in dreams it obviously hasn’t been worked out. Feeling the thing, and reprogramming safety in the place of the left over fear should be key. I suggest Emdr only because it can be helpful to have a guide so you are less likely to get stuck in the memory, but it is quite possible to work through on your own if you have experience with this kind of exploration. If not, if you’re scared of going there, seek a guide!

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