One Of The Worse Times Out of Many This Has Happened

by DontWanttoSleepeverAgain

This just happened, I got up to record what occurred, and also decided to research. I came across this site and decided to post what I had already typed up. Please be aware that it is 1:00 AM and spelling/grammar was not a priority. Hopefully this can help some people out, in the way that they know there are others experiencing what I want to make a new word for fear/terror/despair.

I was lying on my back attempting to go to sleep. I was very sleepy from watching tv. I began to dream, what the dream consisted of I don't remember. I then could not move, stricken with fear and paralysed. I instinctively began to panic. My breather became rapid, it felt as though I was gasping for air but could not attaint he desired amount. This caused my breathing to get more frantic. To me its "Panic Breathing". I finally broke free, the reason I am not sure.

I then woke up and turned around to tell tara. I don't know if it was a hallucination or if the covers formed her body but she had not yet came to bed. I did not realise this yet however until I had told her what happened then told her I loved her. When I realised no one was there the overwhelming fear hit me again, this time in a conscious state. I calmed down when she walked in and I could distinguish reality from dream. I informed her of the situation and then went back to sleep.

It happened several times again throughout, on my back, side, and stomach. The worse being me laying on my front, The reason for this may because the fear of suffocation which is an ever existant reality. I then fell to a sleep where I started lightly dreaming, then heavily dreaming. I don't remember what the dream was about now (Logging at 12:20) But I have flash backs of being in a hotel overlooking a city with a draft comming through the sliding doors to the balcony. My fan was also on directly in my face.

When I realised that the dream was a dream, some time later, I woke up into a full scale paralysis. I remember the fear I experienced as the "Instinctive Shock" set in. I finally calmed myself down and began analyzing what was going on. I was at a constant struggle with "Panic-Breathing". Then I began to concentrate extremely hard(when I do this I shut my eyes and experience a feeling of "vibrating" between my eyes and brain. Comparable to water boiling inside your head without the bubbling noise and without the temp. The sound can be compared to a low volume jet in flight.) When I did this it increased the hold/pain I experienced by massive amounts. I continued to concentrate for experiment reasons. The sound I can normally form in my head turned into a growling. (As I type this my neck hairs stand up uncontrollably.)

And fear then strickened my body following the overwhelming growling. As I continued to struggle with this "Panic Attack" I began to lose hope. For I did not want to wake up because I hadn't found out anything, But I also didn't want to stay in my current state. One thing I did learn from this experience is the fear of being paralysed is so great that It can cause a mental shutdown. I then broke and decided to try and wake Tara (my partner). I remember I pushed a force out of my chest that you would call speaking, but what came out was a humming cry. Not enough to wake her up. I then tried again, to no results. I then remember the fear getting worse and worse, as I began to feel despair/hopelessness. I then managed all my energy into one push as I exerted sound from my chest and mouth once again. I could actually feel it travel through my body. It still wasnt enough. I tried to retake control over my body once again. I could start moving but I don't know if I was Dreaming or not. (Keep in mind that im in a constant state of reality/dreaming. Its easy to slip into either one or both. I hallucinate at the same time Will here Tara say something or walk in the room, then when I regain control she assures me that she did do what I saw/felt/heard her do while in my "Sleep Paralysis".)

SO once again I felt as though I could move very very slowly, and my entire body was numb. So much so that I could only feel the resistance of the covers instead of the actual fabric against my struggling arm. The covers to the lower left/right of my periphreal then began to move, as if it were a heart beat. I then BELEIVE that I grabbed the covers, and it turned into a smoke ball that had a wicked curve smile to it looking at me. This was obviously a hallucination or me falling back into sleep. Once more the growling became a overwhelmingly loud presence in the back of my neck/mind and all throughout my body. As it began to climax in fear it suddenly released me from its grasp. ( Similiar to a scary movie tactics to send fear into viewers, another reason to believe its all my mind causing this)