The following is a visitor-submitted question or story. For more, you can submit your own sleep story here, or browse the collection of experiences and questions other visitors have shared here.

My Subconcious Betraying Me?

by Sarah
(Clovis, CA)

I have begun living with my boyfriend at the beginning of this month, and he has informed me that, lately (in the past couple of weeks) I have been talking in my sleep frequently, and quite clearly. I often wake him up during the night, and usually, wake myself up as well.


He says I sound very frustrated and annoyed with him and he tells me of troubling things I have said about him, or about keeping something from him. Which is very confusing, since it is not true in the least! Considering there is NOT any other guy in my life right now and I am extremely happy and very content with him.

I am very honest about my feelings for him, and I am constantly telling him and looking for ways to show him how much I truly love him. He doesn't tell me everything I say, but he looks very upset by it.

I have absolutely no memory at all of what I say during my sleep, or of what I was dreaming at the time. But even if I do, there is rarely any connection that I am able to make. I have no idea what may be causing this. For the past couple of days, I have been racking my brain trying to figure out why I have been saying these things, but have not come to any possible conclusion whatsoever.

This concept is very troubling. Is there any accuracy to my sleep-talking episodes? Why does my subconscious convey these false feelings & tales? Can anyone help me understand this??

Comments for My Subconcious Betraying Me?

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 29, 2011
look who's talking NEW
by: Hawkmoon

For immediate solving of problem, you should google together with your boyfriend for "sleep talking man". That particular couple has same issue, male becomes during sleep very witty and his wife makes money from recording and selling various items containing his subconsciuos one-liners.

In your case, i believe your boyfriend is speaking to you in some previous stage of your life, when you have been troubled with being alone or had other issues. If he can make a conversation with you in altered state, maybe he can get a little more insight, but in any case, that altered person does not represent your personal view in any way. You should make sure your boyfriend understands that.

Feb 29, 2012
have similar experience NEW
by: Anonymous

I had the very same experience but different in that i was chatting with a friend, a newly wed, quite excited bout sex and he went into sexual telling me how awesome it is n what he does. a day later in my sleep, my boyfriend tells me i was sleep talking bout it!!he is upset and thinks am cheating on him, a thing i could never imagine doing coz i love him.

i just dont know what to do anymore.

Jan 17, 2017
Relationship at Stake NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm having the same issue! My boyfriend has been informing me that for the last couple days I've been saying my exs name in my sleep. He says I've been saying it in a sexual tone. I do not recall any of it and I'm not seeing anybody else. I hate my ex and want nothing to do with him. And now my boyfriend isn't telling me everything and I feel like our relationship is on the line. Why am I doing this??? HELP PLEASE!!!!!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Sleep Talking Stories and Thoughts.




Enjoy this page? Please help us pay it forward to others who would find it valuable by Liking, Sharing, Tweeting, Stumbling, and/or Voting below.

About This Site

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

In fact, we challenge you to do so! What do you say, are you up for the challenge?


A Note On Visitor-Submitted Questions:

Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3) that isn't talked about enough. It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

More Questions:

Ask | Answer

The Stanford Sleep Book

Stanford Sleep Book Picture

Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

In it you'll find a more detailed account of the most important things you need to know about sleep, alertness, dreams, and sleep disorders. Studies, statistics, plus plenty of Dr. Dement's classic anecdotes painting the history of sleep medicine.

Preface | Intro | Contents | Get A Copy

More Sleep Resources

The Zeo

A revolution in personal sleep tracking, the Zeo is a wireless headband that transmits your brainwaves in realtime to a dock (pictured here) or your smartphone. The result? You can wake up and see exactly what stages of sleep you were in during the night! Unprecedented personalized sleep knowledge.

Sleep Paralysis: A Dreamer's Guide

Sleep Paralysis Treatment Book

Ever woken up paralyzed? A surprising number of us have, believe it or not. But few know the actual causes of this phenomenon, and fewer still how to exert control over it. Dream researcher and sleep paralysis expert Ryan Hurd shares breakthrough insights into how to do just that.

Important Disclaimer

Please Note:

The information found on this page and throughout this site is intended for general information purposes only. While it may prove useful and empowering, it is NOT intended as a substitute for the expertise and judgments of healthcare practitioners.

For more info, see our
Terms of Use.