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My 12-Year-Old Girl Can't Fall Asleep, Nothing Seems To Work

by Robyne
(Canada )

My 12-year-old daughter has extreme trouble falling asleep. We have tried melatonin, establishing a bedtime routine, no TV, iPad, or reading close to bedtime, etc.


After trying to fall asleep for an hour, she ends up getting mad and upset, which turns into arguments with me or her dad. After the argument, she falls asleep. She always says she is so tired and wants to go to sleep.

If she starts in our bed (without us) she often falls asleep right away. We are at our wits' end!! What else can we do?

It also happens if we travel anywhere - the first night is the worst. Sometimes it gets better but usually it doesn't. Sometimes we will give her a Gravol to get her to sleep. We are all tired and grumpy in the morning due to this.

I'm not sure how much more we can take. We have been to our family doctor as well. He said to keep using the melatonin and to make her room for sleeping only.

She had cancer when she was 7 and 8 years old but has been cancer free since. This sleeping issue has been going on for over a year now but it seems worse lately.

Comments for My 12-Year-Old Girl Can't Fall Asleep, Nothing Seems To Work

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Sep 18, 2016
 cant go to sleep alone NEW
by: eddie

same problem 13 year old son cant go to sleep alone ends up in a fight, mother has to sleep with him,is there any answers to this,at wits end.
Sep 26, 2016
 14 year old can't fall asleep NEW
by: Lisa

I have the exact same situation. She is anxious all afternoon about falling asleep at night. This has been going on for years. But it's increasingly getting worse. She takes melatonin.
Robyn, from Canada, did you get successful help?
I'd like to read some successful stories with these comments.
Sep 26, 2016
 No real news NEW
by: Robyne (Canada)

My daughter is now 13 & she takes melatonin nightly. It works most nights. Things have gotten better the past few months but we still have about 5 nights a month where she can't go to sleep. Being a bit older now she usually handles it better but we still argue at least 2 of the nights it happens.
Sep 29, 2016
 10 year old daughter's lack of sleep stresses family NEW
by: Anonymous

Our daughter has never been a good sleeper. But start of school and new routines causes her anxiety and none of us has slept more than a couple of hours in a row as a result since school started. We are all exhausted and grumpy. I have raised this with the doctor for years and have been told "kids grow out of it". But do the families survive??
She is active - gymnastics, and biking, plays a flute and does well in school. She appears to function well but we cannot. She is not on any medication. Maybe should be? We have a routine, bath, reading, bed. It's worse if she has a bad dream (terror) and then cannot be coaxed back to sleep.
Help!! Suggestions?
Jan 02, 2017
 11 yr old wont fall asleep without the house shutting down NEW
by: Heather, CT

my 11 yr old needs lights off in house her brothers door shut and everyone to be silent. we have a routine and she tells good night and I love 20 times. i feel horrible but just want her to go to sleep, without constantly talking and asking questions. open to ideas,if any.
Apr 22, 2018
 Exercise improves sleep NEW
by: Anonymous

I've found that unless I am PHYSICALLY tired, I struggle to sleep. My son is the same. If we have spent the day indoors, with no exercise, we both struggle to get to sleep. If we get out and exercise (walking is enough), we get to sleep better, and stay asleep. I walk about four miles per day and my son (aged just 11) walks two miles per day plus extra throughout his school day. I think that some people just need to get moving! It's a sign of being healthy! You just need to get rid of some energy.
Mar 31, 2020
 12 year old girl cant sleep
by: Amaya Rivers

I'm a 12 year old girl and I'm having the same problem.
The past week I've been up hours and can't get to sleep till late like for instance I was meant to go asleep at 9pm it is now 1.58am and I still can't get to sleep. I've tried everything I've looked online for tips I have tried reading a book before bed. Everything and nothing seems to work.
Apr 05, 2021
 Getting to sleep
by: Jacobi

I have had some success getting my daughter to sleep by having a large fan on high in the hallway. She also has a noisemaker in her room that is turned on the same time each night. We tried melatonin for about a year, but it made her feel so much worse when she couldn’t go to sleep and she had taken it. She felt sick and desperate. So we slowly stopped that. Showers before bed helped. Snacks usually help and stress relief tea. But it doesn’t always work. What worked best was me doing chores with her if she came into my room to tell me she couldn’t sleep. I would say clean the kitchen, do the laundry, clean out the refrigerator. That worked really well because she and her body decided that was too much to stay up for. Also, it always works if she does it, but saying 100 prayers helps. She usually falls asleep around the 40th prayer. All that being said sometimes she just wants a big drama incident (?) to fall asleep. She’s done that since she was two. Lots of crying and panic. ? I’m not into that. I’m not sure what else I can do except Benedryl. She gets lots of exercise but sometimes I wonder if she just needs more food. I am at a loss because it takes a lot out of me.
Mar 18, 2022
 my problem NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm 12 ang I can never get to sleep.
I mostly fall asleep around 1:00 am, but then I fall asleep in class. I can't get comfortable or anything. the only time I'm comfortable or able to sleep is when I'm on the couch, but my mom always becomes a pain the next morning if i sleep on the couch.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???

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