My 10 Year Old Daughter Still Has Not Learned To Sleep

by Lynn
(Phoenix, AZ )

My daughter didn't sleep well as a baby. Didn't relax at night. Only slept a couple hours when she did fall asleep. Hated naps. It would take two hours of rocking to soothe her for a half hour nap. And still hated going to sleep at night.

It's never really gotten better. Anger and unhappiness comes along for each day unless she is stimulating with going out and about. She hates excercise. All except swimming. We don't have a pool. She just started to like bike riding this year at 10. We tried other activities and sports and she still doesn't sleep and doesn't like them much.

During the school year she sleeps better but we are still talking 2 hours to fall asleep. This year we got her to go to bed with much less difficulty and relax and sleep. Then we were forced to move. We have a nicer home but she hates her room again. She slept one week and has been up for 3. She refuses to even get bed or room ready for bed.

She won't change with the door closed. That's causing a problem too. She doesn't respect boundaries and flies into our room and refuses to leave. She's too big for me to move her. She can always find a way to unlock our bedroom door or break it down. If doors are closed she screams and wails. She used to do that day and night.

She's been diagnosed everything under the sun and then undiagnosed. It's hard to know we have gotten some of the behaviors to cease for 6 months only to return with change, and return with a vengeance. She hates soothing techniques. She hates practicing calming techniques day or night. She used to have some soothing from instrumental music but now she refuses to let it calm her unless it's blaring from the living room.

Her disruption at night causes us to constantly cancel plans and recreation. I can't work. I have to sleep to function. Our other children have no problem sleeping. They even sleep through her loud crying sometimes screaming. If they awake they can be reassured and go back to sleep. But when she is loud for hours they too are exhausted the next day.

We have been to doctors of all sorts, therapy, etc without success. I have tried calming oils too. She won't sleep unless someone is in the room with her. Not practical for a family or marriage. Please help.