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Mount Everest (S&D)

by Austin Meyer
(Stanford )

"Hurry up man." That was the first voice I heard as my eyes opened from what I am guessing was a small nap. The snow was lightly descending from the overcast heavens and I slowly gained the strength to rise from my fetal positioned nap. As I stood up I looked over the ledge off to my left and lurched back in astonishment. My team once again demanded I hurry up and I ashamedly asked,"What altitude are we at?" As they started up the mountain they hollered back,"1 camp away from the summit big guy." Not that that answer really answered my question, but at least it implied that we were actually making our way up to the summit of whatever peak this was.

I hurriedly joined my team on their way up the icy face of the mountain and was seemingly perplexed by why our team leader felt it was necessary to carry a boombox up the face of the mountain blasting "winter wonderland" played by Miles Davis. It was actually slightly eery. Why the same song over and over again? Couldnt he pick a pandora station or something to mix it up? Anyway, after several close calls traversing crevices and icy faces, I heard the call ahead from the leader yelling,"we have made it!" People ran around in an exhilarated fashion and I continued to be just a tad bit confused as to where we were. The summit was nothing but a parking lot and a 7-11. I looked back on what we had just climbed to make sure this slurpee haven was actually at the summit of this mountain an sure enough it was. When I peered over the edge, it looked like a snowy version of the warp hole Luke skywalker fell down in Star Wars. Not really knowing what else to do I proceeded to enter the 7-11, order a mountain dew slurpee, and lottery ticket. As my team summoned me once again saying that it was time to leave I payed for my things and joined them at the top for a quick team picture at the summit. It was a Kodak moment. Before we started on our way down I told everyone I needed to scratch my lottery ticket first. I needed to match three of the same number to win.

First number: $200,000
second number: $200,000

Boom.
Alarm clock sounds.

Me: "Damn, 7 AM lift."


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Feb 10, 2011
Darn Alarm Clock
by: Kevin Morton

How is it that the alarm clock always seems to know when the climax of the dream is??

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