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Loud And Graphic Sex Sleep-Talking In His Sleep

The first thing I noticed is that my boyfriend would wake up naked and have no recollection of it. I laughed it off thinking it was funny, and playfully called him a sleep stripper. That happened a couple times, which starting making me wonder what was going on after a while.

Then one time he was talking out-loud very crudely like he was either having sex with someone or was wanting to have sex with whoever the someone was. I moved the covers and he had his erection in his hand. I was shocked. I told him about it and he was embarrassed. I usually wake up to this kind of thing; him kissing my arm shoulder to elbow, one time a random, sleep-educed peck to my pubic bone area over the covers, waking up cussing "f*ck f*ck f*ck, sh*t sh*t sh*t," as he sits up calmly and then turns over, and of course the highly graphic and hurtful sex talk—stuff he never says in real life.

But the other day was the worst. I woke to him saying "Mmm I want to F her, mm mmm mmmmmmmmmm!" a couple times in a row, then "I'm going to c*m 384956,0488-miles a minute..." I woke him up at that point very shocked and irritated and told him to quit having sex with people in his sleep.

We talked about it the next day because I was concerned he has some sexual issues or perversions in his subconscious. He was very embarrassed and apologetic and was open about his masturbation habits. He said he does it once a day, which I thought was a lot (we don't live together), and that he didn't think he had any weird/abnormal perversions. He was molested when he was very young though, so this may be related somehow. And he's told me things early in our relationship about his regular porn habits and some things I thought were disturbing like really being into anal in porn, which has haunted my brain ever since.

All I know is I don't like to hear this stuff come out of his mouth when he's sleeping. It's disturbing and I don't want to be subjected to it. He's very sweet and kind but he has some dark stuff lingering in that head.

From my searching online it doesn't look like there's much that can be done, and I can't find many accounts of it online either. Most searches pull up people actually engaging in real sex while sleep and not knowing it. I'd like to get to the bottom of why this happens and some kind of resolution so it can stop.

Comments for Loud And Graphic Sex Sleep-Talking In His Sleep

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Aug 12, 2015
 Sleep sex and perversions
by: Anonymous

This exact same thing is happening to my partner. I do not trust him and he lies all the time. He has a recent history of drug abuse and it and alcoholism runs in the family. I have no idea if he had been molested as a child but I do know he was around a mother with lots of sexual partners growing up, had to live with other family for a bit and had other very traumatic things happen to him throughout his life. I am concerned he is cheating on me because everything going on in our lives suggests that he is. He used to scream out sexual phrases and it stopped for a while but now has happened again the last 2 nights. Last night he was humping the air as if someone was on top of him yelling "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" over and over again. He also moans and makes other disturbing noises in his sleep.
Oct 21, 2015
 My wife has sexual fantasies while she sleeps about her ex from 20 years ago
by: Anonymous

My Wife & I have been married for 9 years. In February of this year we found out she was pregnant with twin girls, I was very excited and then Her sexual sleep talk began. Almost 8 months ago my wife starting talking in her sleep about her ex-boyfriend, saying his name, what she wanted to do with him and where she wants him to put "it". While fantasizing She speaks in a whispering voice. I have heard the same name(s) of previous partners and what she wants to do with them or should I say, what she wants them to do to her. it is disturbing, explicit and vulgar. I can only describe my nights as listening/watching my wife in a porn movie with other men. I have confronted her about these sex dreams many times but my wife denies saying anything, deinies dreaming of anyone in a sexual manner & says that I'm the one who needs help because she isn't hearing or seeing any of this..Duh, cause she is the one doing and saying everything. I guess I must be hallucinating every night we go to bed at the same time?!?!. I love my wife so much that I have sought help from my doctor, taking blood tests, having a MRI of my brain, I'm in therapy, I started going to sleep before Her everynight & began taking a sleeping pill just to make sure I was knocked out. After 7 months of torment I am done with my wife saying its me...I have seen her talking(mouth moving), I have seen her hips grinding in a sexual way have been tormented with the explicit language & sexual talk. Oh, she also degrades me when she is talking to her fantasy partner, awesome.... Did I mention she lied to me about watching porn.. Yeah, I have 3 beautiful daughters and feel like we are going to be a statistic... Thank you for reading, it's late, I'm tired and this all may be confusing to anyone reading but I feel better. Signed- hurt, sad & disappointed in how this is ruining my marriage/family.
Jan 21, 2017
 Annoyed
by: Anonymous

My bf dreams to much i tell him im right here it's grose to see and hear. He lies etc. Yet still does it knoin im hete. He makes moan sounds and jerks body around. His penis gets hard and outa blue hell jump up like a mad man. The second he fully awakes hes gotta pee so bad
Feb 27, 2017
 Husband talking sex in sleep
by: Anonymous

Omg... My husband does this all the time! He has always been good to me, great sex life! He has secrets, we all do, not like this type! I'm loosing sleep and my mind! When I wake him he screams at me saying I am a crazy bitch....! Next day he acts like it never happened.
Mar 26, 2017
 Don't fret, enjoy it
by: Anonymous

My husband is a sleep water and sex-we. He started when he developed sleep apnea, then all kinds of weird stuff started to happen. He periodically eats in his sleep, he giggles, whimpers, you name it. He doesn't get up and start stripping, but sometimes he has tried to have sex with me while he's ina dream, personally I absolutely love it. I mean, one time he was fornicating with I don't know who in his dream, so I hopped on top and didn't waste the erection, lol. He woke up to a huge orgasm. So I know that sounds horrible, but quite frankly he doesn't remember most of what he dreams and I don't blame him. He can't control his dreams, I would love to know I have an incredible dream sex life actually. But alas I sleep like a rock. Anyway, your boyfriend sounds like fun on wheels and you should take advantage of it, not turn him away, anal is amazing if you do it right and slowly, so don't toss that out either. Sharing anal with the man I have loved for 14 years has made us closer actually. He sounds like a nice kid, he's just rambunctious at nights I say you play along with his escapades at night! How fun. Anal sex and porn and masturbation once a day is not "dark" it's just what sex looks like in the internet era, if I could masturbate all day, I would. But I have no time, so enjoy all the sexcapades while you're still young and have lots of time. He's a keeper if you ask me!
Jun 27, 2017
 My husband ask for oral sex while sleep. NEW
by: Anonymous

Have you found out more information about this? I seem to can't find anything online as well. My husband is a very sweet, quiet guy, however, he sleep talks asking for "head" ...it's so annoying. The things he says in his sleep, he doesn't have the guts to say I When awake. That's my frustrations. When I ask him about it, he doesn't recall any of it which makes me more frustrated.
Jun 27, 2017
 My husband ask for oral sex while sleep. NEW
by: Anonymous

Have you found out more information about this? I seem to can't find anything online as well. My husband is a very sweet, quiet guy, however, he sleep talks asking for "head" ...it's so annoying. The things he says in his sleep, he doesn't have the guts to say I When awake. That's my frustrations. When I ask him about it, he doesn't recall any of it which makes me more frustrated.
Jul 17, 2017
 Wet dream or what? NEW
by: Anonymous

Yeah ditto here
My bf cam jerks anf shakes in his sleep n sounds like a moan or convulsion idek i feel like its weird. Like what is be having a wet dream????
Dec 04, 2017
 His dreams, my nightmare. NEW
by: Anonymousmellygirl

My bf has been doing this too. He drinks heavily a d has sleep apnea. I'm at my wits end with hearing all of his famtasoes. In his dreams he's way more aggressive them when he's awake. He told me to wake him up when he's doing it but what's the point he'll go right back to it the minute he falls asleep. I know he doesn't get rest when he's sleeping so I don't wake him up but then he yells at me and says I don't have the right to get mad at him for what he has no control over. I'm damned if I do and damned of I don't. I just can't do this anymore. My sympathy to anyone who's dealing with this. Their dream world has turned our night time into a noghtmare.
Feb 05, 2018
 Memories NEW
by: soundslikeme

So reading through this I started to get memories about girlfriends telling me the same thing I either was skeptical or told her to just wake me when it happens. But I am aware of the fact that I sleep talk now and am curious as to what exactly triggers what is said, because I wake myself up yelling on a daily basis, and I remember who, what, and why I was yelling.
Feb 17, 2018
 Can't stop NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm on the other side, I'm the sex talker which I never recall the events. It's very bothersome ( as expected) for my husband. This was never an issue for 18 years and has just now started after an insult to my immune system I have no idea other than it's linked to fatigue and my immune system. I suffer from an autoimmune disorder which causes brain dysregulation from inflammation, especially when I ingest wheat or gluten which I don't tolerate. I really want it to stop as my husband feels that I have some subconscious feelings coming out...not the case! I believe it's a medical issue which probablyfounds a bit crazy.
Feb 17, 2018
 Can't stop NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm on the other side, I'm the sex talker which I never recall the events. It's very bothersome ( as expected) for my husband. This was never an issue for 18 years and has just now started after an insult to my immune system I have no idea other than it's linked to fatigue and my immune system. I suffer from an autoimmune disorder which causes brain dysregulation from inflammation, especially when I ingest wheat or gluten which I don't tolerate. I really want it to stop as my husband feels that I have some subconscious feelings coming out...not the case! I believe it's a medical issue which probablyfounds a bit crazy.
Feb 25, 2018
 ENJOY IT NEW
by: A

Omg no way! Like totally freak me out!! NOT!!
My partner often moans and enjoyably says my name in his sleep! I'm more than happy to be woken to this! Any sexual act is fun if you give it a chance girls!! If you love this man, give him your body and trust that he will adore and love it whilst carrying out his 'dark' fantasies!!!
My partner has often said other girls names, my friends that I have been with sexually as such! He can't control what he dreams about, but my dear you get the benefits of that dream!! Enjoy it! Embrace it! Sex with the one you love can be absolutely life changing if you give it your all!!
Mar 15, 2018
 So over it!!! Man up or I'm done... NEW
by: Anonymous

My common-law boyfriend has erectile dysfunction and so attempts at sex happen maybe twice a year. I'm quite sexual and my ex's usually couldn't keep up with me, so dealing with someone who describes being "dead down there" and yet was still watching porn and jacking off really pisses me off! We've been to a couples' therapist and that worked for a while, but at some point, my bf decided he didn't like our therapist and we stopped going.
Occasionally, my bf will talk/mumble in his sleep and I have caught him touching himself, even to the point of jacking off in his sleep. Now, he's woken me up sleep fucking the mattress! I'm beyond hostile! It's not cute and I have no desire to jump him and "take advantage of his having an erection" mainly because chances are he wouldn't be able to sustain anything anyway and we'd both be disappointed. In the past when his sleep sex adventures happened, I've gotten mad and slept in the other room. Last night, after going 9 months without even an attempt at sex with me, when he started his sleep sex, I woke him up and kicked his ass out to the other room. I'm tired of being traumatized about sleeping with him and I'm sick of crying myself to sleep. He treats me well otherwise, but the thought of him jacking off or even just touching himself makes me sick and I can't help but feel as though I've lost respect for him. Sorry, but men with masturbation addiction issues make me sick. It's like they have to have their hand constantly down their pants like Al Bundy. This automatically makes me think they're slow witted, slackjawed, porn addicted, man-babies who still live in their parent's basement and wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she came with instructions...yes, I'm bitter! After years of dealing (and Not dealing) with this issue, I'm over it...I just want to get pounded and find myself fantasizing about my sex machine ex.
Apr 17, 2018
 Man out of control NEW
by: Anonymous

My Boyfriend dreams having sex every night all night,its hard to sleep,and get him to have sex with me,he denies he does this,I'm need love,sex ,he blames me for it,what is way to comfort him ,and move to better sex,or new life
Apr 19, 2018
 Falling apart! NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm in sales and work a normal work week; my boyfriend is retired, since having a major accident almost 2 years ago. He usually comes to bed around 2:00 or 3:00 AM, and I don't sleep a wink after that. He has sex all night long in his sleep, moaning, groaning, talking, pulling his clothes off and rubbing his junk. He is so loud, that even when I move to the sofa, and shut the bedroom door, I have to turn soundscapes music on, practically blaring, to drown him out. Even though the music is loud, I'd much rather have the noise of that, than listening to him with who the hell knows who. We very rarely have sex. It makes me feel unloved and unwanted. I get furious listening to him. We've fought so many times over it. I can't even function most days, from lack of sleep. I feel awful and look even worse! I can barely form a sentence some days, slurring my words when I speak. I know people must think I have a drinking problem! I'm relieved to know I'm not alone, nor crazy.
Aug 09, 2018
 Such a turn on!! NEW
by: Anonymous

I recently woke up to my husband of 15 yrs moaning and sex talking in his sleep, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it not because I’m mad or insecure but because it really turned me on, had it not been my time of the month I would had rode his cock until he busted inside me.. now I’m kicking myself in the ass for not taking him in my mouth and making him cum..I am excitedly waiting for tomorrow when I’m off my period...Enjoy your man ladies, I don’t care who or what my husband is dreaming of fucking because it’s so arousing for me to see him turned on or getting off!! After all we cannot control what or who we dream about!!!
Nov 02, 2018
 Together 7 yrs married almost 2 NEW
by: Anonymous

Sooo my husband have been doing this i know he dosent cheat on me but i don't understand why its happening, we have had sleep sex where it's real good but once he wake up and see its me he isnt erect anymore, it hurt me in a way then when he sleep he is always having sex with some one in his dreams its driving me crazy he always sayin i have trust issues but its not that its the fact im lsying in bed with you and in your sleep you are fuking someone else, i guess she got it rite there like he asked 4:13am a wife up listening to my husband screw someone else
Mar 19, 2019
 Ugh!! Going through it as well
by: Anonymous

Boyfriend doing the same thing and denies it!! He says names which unnerves me, at least he doesnt forget my name!! And he smacks his lips. It starts out like that like he is making out with someone then the moaning and sometimes the names and other things then he moves around in bed like in sex motion you know. And snores and moan snores and it starts over. He denied it all then not denying he talks in his sleep. But he does deny snoring and having sex dreams and being loud and gets mad at me for bringing it up, but yet tells me to talk about whats bithering me. Really!! He didnt use to do that when we cuddled but as he started pulling away he got worse and when I called him out about saying a certain girls name. He got worse still. I cant sleep with him or even seperate he always keeps me up and gets mad at me when I lucid dream. I know I shouldnt say shit to him to piss him off, but enough is enough. If it doesnt stop and I have better options Im leaving him so he can be by himself for all I care!! Ive tried to pray but...
Mar 19, 2019
 Ok
by: Anonymous

Read both sides of story. Will try not to be upset with him or bring it up, if have to talk about it will. But if he keeps disrespecting me, or dreams of girls he checks out and again and I am able to get with guy lucid dreaming with, that would be awesome since every girl in America and the world around my age + wants him... that would be a dream come true. It's just I had this go on with my ex, but worse. He raped me (the ex) and possibly had others and he used me and I was so in love and probably more so in lust with him. And now Im with this guy and UGH!! Heaven help us!!
Apr 24, 2019
 Wow
by: Anonymous

I’m currently going thru this with my bf as well. I thought I was going crazy. He does the whole snore moaning, talks in his sleep sometimes sexual, and I caught him a few times touching himself, and he never remembers any of it! Or that’s what he claims anyway. It’s just so frustrating. We get into arguments about it all the time bc most nights I can’t sleep bc of it. It’s just uncomfortable to listen to and have play out when all you wanna do is sleep. He also says I shouldn’t be mad about something he has no control over. I understand that to a degree, but I honestly don’t know what to do. Am I stuck dealing with this for the rest of the time we’re together? Ugh.
Jun 24, 2019
 I'm a sleep moaner
by: Anonymous

I sometimes hear myself moaning and it wakes me up from time to time. There is no sex dream whatsoever, EVER! I just think it's my sexuality silently yearning for expression because I have been single and haven't had sex for a very long time
Aug 05, 2019
 Frustrated fiancé NEW
by: Anonymous

My fiancé and I always had a strong sexual relationship. We both like trying new things . But this yr has been hell I have to fight remind him it’s been two or three weeks . He always make excuses back sore, tired , blah blah blah and yes I understand . Morning sex is of as to cold or to tired prefer to sleep till 9am sometimes 12 on days of but if we’re going 4x4 and leaving 5am bam his up . I’ve tried spicing things up in other rooms , dressing up etc nope . But the last few mths his stated dreaming of a work colleague how pretty , hot sexy she is now his even dreamt of having sex with her telling her to ride it harder calling her name out . He even prefers on the days he works to leave at 4am to arrive one and half to two hours early . His dreams before this was always about his past as I would ask in the morning and he would be shocked and ask me who told you what else have they said . To take advantage whilst he was having sleep sex tried once before he started calling her name he woke up and said what the hell im trying to sleep I have to be up early and I copped a bit of abuse .
Nov 20, 2019
 Sexomnia NEW
by: Anonymous

Alot of men do this. My husband included. As he gets older and testosterone levels go down he dosent do it as much. Just after drinking or if he’s thinking about something. It comes out in his sleep. Anti depressants help.
Jun 14, 2021
 My husband does this too
by: Anonymous

My husband also does the same and keeps me up at night with a steady mix of snoring and moaning. Though it does bother me he is so faithful and loving it’s hard for me to hold it against him. When I do bring it up to him I introduce it as a joke saying something like, you must have had some good dreams last night, I’m a bit jealous. He has no recollection of it and says he’s sure he’s dreaming of holding and making love to me. We have an amazing sex life. Either way he has no control over it as none of us have control over our dreams and I am guilty of the random sex dream with an ex, some hot dude I’ve never seen or him. Yes It feels wrong but it would be even worse to hold myself accountable for a dream I can’t control. I try to see it the same with him. Last night he kept me up for hours I was super turned on by it though. He is so sexy and handsome it’s hard not to jump his bones but out of fear of startling him or interrupting his much needed sleep for a super early work day I refrain. The women with other issues with your man... I totally understand why this would make things worse. I’ve been in the same situation with my ex. Although you love him if he makes you feel that neglected it’s time to move on or find a good therapist that will help point you in the right direction. My ex had sex dreams every night he was also a total narcissist and emotionally abusive I tried to save our relationship for five years. Seeing a therapist finally made me realize how much more I deserve. I’m in my late 30’s I can’t imagine if I had wasted more time with my abusive ex but because I chose me I’ve found an amazing caring compassionate husband who I can’t imagine life without. I know it’s scary and your mind tells you you’ll never find someone else but this just isn’t true and although difficult for some of us women, you need to finally choose you. You won’t regret it.
Feb 18, 2024
 But why get upset?
by: Anonymous chick

So if they are having sex dreams throughout the night... obvious oral sex giving sounds and motions with the sucking sounds...why go straight to sleep if horny or better yet once something is said about it get angry and defensive like I'm making it up or something. I am bringing to believe it's repressed sexual feelings with someone he can't have yet wants and apparently to give oral to. He stays on his phone constantly " playing a game" a game where he texts back n forth day & night. I'm so turned off from this I think I've reached the point I don't even care anymore. Funny tho bc he'll try to lay his arm over me just as he's falling asleep after not speaking a word for hours on end. Here's the thing,I won't settle with allowing this to be my reality for the rest of my life! Fuck that.

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