The following is a visitor-submitted question or story. For more, you can submit your own sleep story here, or browse the collection of experiences and questions other visitors have shared here.

I Can't Get No Sleep... Because Boyfriend's Snoring and Body Movements

by ANON
(London)

I love my boyfriend very much. Every night he snores, regardless of which side of the bed he sleeps on, with or without pillow(s), no matter if lying on his side, his back, or his front.


Coping with this, I wear earplugs every night and use a white noise machine, and he lets me go to bed first to fall asleep, before coming to bed himself. More recently, he has been having weird body movements, varying from toes twitching, to stroking his own arms, raising his legs in a hammer like movements, and kicking backwards, resulting in me having very broken sleep, and the odd bruise!

Just lately, his sleep disturbance has been more frequent, I have been getting out of bed to grab a few hours of sleep, before he wakes up looking for me and comes and takes me back to bed. This is having a really bad emotional knock-on effect with my boyfriend, he thinks I get out of the bed because I can't bear to be in bed with him, and is emotionally taking it very badly, to the extent of serious arguments about our relationship finishing because he does not want to be made to feel that he is unwanted or indifferent. He says me getting out of the bed and sleeping elsewhere (leaving him alone in bed) is really hurting him. I am losing the will to live. Please somebody advise....

Comments for I Can't Get No Sleep... Because Boyfriend's Snoring and Body Movements

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 15, 2015
 It's Just Practical
by: Kevin

Thank you for sharing your story. Communication is probably very key here. If you can gently reassure him that you really care for him, but just need to get good sleep yourself to be a good girlfriend to him, and his body movements and snoring get in the way of that. He should hopefully understand that, and not be self-conscious about why you are going elsewhere to sleep during the night; after all it's just practical. If he doesn't, realize that that is an issue on his part, and try to help him with that so you don't have to sacrifice your sleep or sanity. Best wishes!
Apr 04, 2022
 Similar issue
by: Theresa

This is sad that you are being made to feel like the bad guy over wanting some peaceful sleep. I deal with similar, my husband doesn’t Always snore or maybe he does but on those days I fall asleep first? But he kicks his legs which drives me crazy! We got a memory foam bed and it was so me of the best things ever! Any movements were now undisturbing! His middle of the night pee breaks and leg movements no longer bothered me! Well we recently switched beds to a sleep number after 8yrs of the old bed I forgot all about how much he moves etc. and I never thought this would be a problem since we have our own air bags to adjust our settings. Yup dealing with this all over again which is really annoying! I’m here looking for ways to stop this leg movement crap and figured I’d leave a comment even though this is old. Hopefully you have found a way to solve or deal with the issue. Don’t be like me and forget about them later when you switch things around… lol

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Hypnic Jerk Experiences.



Enjoy this page? Please help us pay it forward to others who would find it valuable by Liking, Sharing, Tweeting, Stumbling, and/or Voting below.

About This Site

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

In fact, we challenge you to do so! What do you say, are you up for the challenge?

A Note On Visitor-Submitted Questions:

Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3) that isn't talked about enough. It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

More Questions:

Ask | Answer

The Stanford Sleep Book

Stanford Sleep Book Picture

Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

In it you'll find a more detailed account of the most important things you need to know about sleep, alertness, dreams, and sleep disorders. Studies, statistics, plus plenty of Dr. Dement's classic anecdotes painting the history of sleep medicine.

Preface | Intro | Contents | Get A Copy

More Sleep Resources

The Zeo

Track Your Own Sleep With Zeo

A revolution in personal sleep tracking, the Zeo is a wireless headband that transmits your brainwaves in realtime to a dock (pictured here) or your smartphone. The result? You can wake up and see exactly what stages of sleep you were in during the night! Unprecedented personalized sleep knowledge.

Sleep Paralysis: A Dreamer's Guide

Sleep Paralysis Treatment Book

Ever woken up paralyzed? A surprising number of us have, believe it or not. But few know the actual causes of this phenomenon, and fewer still how to exert control over it. Dream researcher and sleep paralysis expert Ryan Hurd shares breakthrough insights into how to do just that.

Important Disclaimer

Please Note:

The information found on this page and throughout this site is intended for general information purposes only. While it may prove useful and empowering, it is NOT intended as a substitute for the expertise and judgments of healthcare practitioners.

For more info, see our
Terms of Use.