The following is a visitor-submitted question or story. For more, you can submit your own sleep story here, or browse the collection of experiences and questions other visitors have shared here.

Breaking Point - Contemplating Separate Bedrooms Because Of Partner's Incessant Sleep Talking

by Alison
(Sydney)

My partner of 2 years and I have just moved in together. Though its only been a week in our new home its been a week of HELL and sleepless nights on my account.


Every single night for the past week my partner has sleep talked. He has done it quite often during the 2 years and then stopped for a few months now it is worse than ever.

Tonight for example he sat bolt upright and started frantically searching the bed and tearing the sheets off the bed talking about a metal hook - at first I thought he had a nightmare and when I questioned him he started repeating "metal hook" then he had a terrified look on his face and then got angry and told me not to bother and laid back down taking the sheets with him. I then questioned him a little further and he told me it was the metal hooks that hang the shower curtain up, then when i asked if he meant it was in the bed and it stabbed him all his reply was "F**k it I cant be bothered". He was so angry at me and I have no idea why. He is now snoring away beside me as i write this.

I am getting to the point where I can't handle this anymore, between working and unpacking the house and not having much sleep I'm like a walking zombie. I have done a Google search and pretty much all that comes up is that it's really not that common in adult males and that it seems to have no cure although ensuring the person gets enough sleep is frequently mentioned. Well what about those of us who have to deal with those who sleep talk/sleep walk? What are we meant to do?! If this is what is in store for the rest of my life with him I think I may have to create a separate bedroom for me!

I need a solution for this situation as its driving me cuckoo. Please if anyone has any ideas on what to do (please don't quote the websites about proper sleeping patterns as he is asleep by 9:30pm and gets up at 5:30am for work (Mon-Fri) and on weekends he sleeps the day and night away) please leave a comment with any suggestions you may have on this matter.

Thank you for dealing with my rant.

Comments for Breaking Point - Contemplating Separate Bedrooms Because Of Partner's Incessant Sleep Talking

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 17, 2015
 Separate Bedrooms
by: Kevin

Hi Alison, Sleeping in a separate bedroom, as you mentioned, could be a great option for you. Many couples do it quite harmoniously, and it helps if you can talk specifically about the reasons why it is necessary for the sanity of the relationship. Hopefully your partner would be understanding that his sleep behavior can cause real issues in your sleep quality when you sleep together, but no issues when you each sleep alone. And hopefully he would appreciate having you sane and happy in the daytime, rather than sleep deprived day and night. It doesn't have to be an unloving move, in fact it can be a decision that comes from an entirely loving place, for the sake of the relationship, not to mention practical!

Feel free to update this page with any resolutions you've found or continuing challenges. Good luck.
Mar 01, 2015
 Yelling, cursing, kicking husband in his sleep... NEW
by: Married 27 years+

My husband and I decided after 25years of marriage that his snoring and restlessness during the night and us both working we got less sleep together. I was cold and he was hot, then he would wrap around me and I felt smothered and woke tired. Following the illness of my youngest so that led to kidney failure and ultimately a kidney transplant when he'd never been sick, my husband suddenly developed this sleep disruption. I first noticed he would wake with scratches on his own face kicking and thrashing in his sleep. I then found I slept better in the spare room. On nights I would try to sleep with him he tossed and turned all night. We gave upon this, but lately he wakes the entire family with this dreaming 2-3 times a night! I bolt up when it happens from the other room and listen. When I go in he is yelling "where is my supper...!" " I put it in the laundry" " Get the f..k out of my way..!" "How f......g long does it take to make a hamburg!", etc. Just random stuff!!! All the while he is asleep! I've tried to wake him and calm him, nothing works! I'm worried, he goes to bed early and wakes up irratable and tired. So I understand what you're talking about.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Sleep Talking Stories and Thoughts.



Enjoy this page? Please help us pay it forward to others who would find it valuable by Liking, Sharing, Tweeting, Stumbling, and/or Voting below.

About This Site

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

In fact, we challenge you to do so! What do you say, are you up for the challenge?

A Note On Visitor-Submitted Questions:

Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3) that isn't talked about enough. It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

More Questions:

Ask | Answer

The Stanford Sleep Book

Stanford Sleep Book Picture

Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

In it you'll find a more detailed account of the most important things you need to know about sleep, alertness, dreams, and sleep disorders. Studies, statistics, plus plenty of Dr. Dement's classic anecdotes painting the history of sleep medicine.

Preface | Intro | Contents | Get A Copy

More Sleep Resources

The Zeo

Track Your Own Sleep With Zeo

A revolution in personal sleep tracking, the Zeo is a wireless headband that transmits your brainwaves in realtime to a dock (pictured here) or your smartphone. The result? You can wake up and see exactly what stages of sleep you were in during the night! Unprecedented personalized sleep knowledge.

Sleep Paralysis: A Dreamer's Guide

Sleep Paralysis Treatment Book

Ever woken up paralyzed? A surprising number of us have, believe it or not. But few know the actual causes of this phenomenon, and fewer still how to exert control over it. Dream researcher and sleep paralysis expert Ryan Hurd shares breakthrough insights into how to do just that.

Important Disclaimer

Please Note:

The information found on this page and throughout this site is intended for general information purposes only. While it may prove useful and empowering, it is NOT intended as a substitute for the expertise and judgments of healthcare practitioners.

For more info, see our
Terms of Use.