The following is a visitor-submitted question or story. For more, you can submit your own sleep story here, or browse the collection of experiences and questions other visitors have shared here.

Boyfriend Sleep Talking, Then Hitting Me Whilst Asleep

by Emma Ponting
(England)

It started off as my Boyfriend just saying random things in his sleep, nothing more. Then one night we had a conversation that didn't make too much sense, I soon realised he was sleep talking and started to laugh, he then got really angry with me and turned his back to me.


I stopped and said sorry go on what are you trying to ask me, he asked me do i have a screwdriver in my pocket, which i replied no and he then shouted at me well why didn't you say that in the first place and then again turned his back to me.

I left it at that and went to sleep. A week or so later i woke up to him sitting up over me which he then punched me in my leg, which really did hurt. I asked him why he did it but he just laid down and carried on sleeping. I said to him I'm scared to go back to sleep now but he said nothing. I ended up falling asleep after a bit.

I'm worried though that these acts in his sleep might get worse and he ends up really hurting me or himself. Any ideas on what I should do or why he is doing this?

Kevin: Hey Emma, Check out these articles on sleepwalking and REM Behavior Disorder to see if you can grab some insights as to what your boyfriend is experiencing. Not to freak you out, because what you've experienced so far sounds minor by comparison, but here's also an article on sleep-related violence, for your own awareness.

Warmly,
Kevin


(Please keep in mind that I am a student of sleep science and not a medical doctor. Please take any thoughts I give with my background in mind.)

Comments for Boyfriend Sleep Talking, Then Hitting Me Whilst Asleep

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 06, 2014
 boyfriend punched me while we were asleep NEW
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend punched me while we were asleep and did not remember the next day
Sep 06, 2014
 boyfriend punched me while we were asleep NEW
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend punched me while we were asleep and did not remember the next day
Jun 11, 2015
 Sleep problem NEW
by: VLo

I feel for both of you. He probably has REM behavioral disorder. I have it too. It's where you talk, laugh, kick, punch, hump, even jump out of bed all in your sleep. It's like sleep walking but the person can usually wake up in the middle of it and even remember it the next day. The difference with this problem is that it has been the prerequisite to problems of the elderly such as dementia and Parkinson's, but that usually doesn't happen unless the man is older and finally getting REM B.D. And the majority of people who get this are older men. It is scary and he needs to get checked out. I used to sleep with weapons close by for safety, but after reading about people who killed or committed suicide with this problem I hid them. Those stories are rare, so don't freak out too much but you both need to be aware. Research it for yourselves.
Jul 29, 2016
 Sleep punching NEW
by: Anonymous

It just happened and I'm in a too big of a shock and scared to go back to sleep. Looks like it was no problem for him. But when I rested my head on his chest during my sleep he agresivly pushed me off the held my head in one hand and with the other he punched me in my eyebrow. I started yelling and crying beating him off me but as soon as he woke up he didn't remember anything said sorry and hugged me. I'm to scared to go back to sleep again
Aug 10, 2016
 I was kicking my wife NEW
by: Anonymous

I kicked my wife in her abdomen for three time which I was dreaming and kicking a man , she got up and said stop hitting me, I felt so bad I'm sacred to hurt her again when I am sleeping
Nov 08, 2016
 My man does this to me 4rth time today. NEW
by: Anonymous

I have just recently found out from his sister and two brothers that he was sexually abused as a lil boy. 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused in the U.S. from ages 6 thru 10. He hits hard and with all his might twice. Once in the chest in the middle of my breast, once in the back, once on the shoulder, and once in the head. I put a body pillow between us which has helped a lot, but this time he reached over the body pillow, I spoke with one of his x's and she said he did it to her all the time, and took the breath out of her while she was sleeping as well. It's a terrifying way to live,. I try and rationalize my staying with him, basically for empathy. But I need to start planning my exit. He is far to emotionally damaged for me to put my existence behind him. He withholds sex for nearly a year now, is extremely critical of me, non supportive and has a porn addiction it' so bad I caught the kitchen on fire yesterday and he still ignored me and anything I was doing. The insignificance is unbelievable.
Sep 05, 2017
 Hurting me in his sleep? NEW
by: Anonymous

It starts off with a growling noise. Then, he starts mumbling. He used to elbow me. I'd push him awake, bug he got worse. Last night, he kicked me in my back many tines. I eased out of bed, trying not to startle him. I was out of the bed and he reached over and punched me in my face. I yelled at him, and he woke up apologizing. He asked if he had hit me in my face, and I answered, yes. Last night was the worst ever. I'm very upset with him, and I don't want to sleep around him. What will he do next? I sent him an article on this subject. He thanked me for the information. I'm afraid that he's going to hurt me, or we're going to hurt each other. He really needs to get help. I'm not going to allow him to cause me any more pain.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Sleep Questions and Answers.



Enjoy this page? Please help us pay it forward to others who would find it valuable by Liking, Sharing, Tweeting, Stumbling, and/or Voting below.

About This Site

Welcome! This site is continuously being created by students of Dr. William C. Dement's Sleep And Dreams course at Stanford University.

We made this site as a call to action for people all over the world to live healthier, happier, safer, and more productive lives by learning about their own sleep. We have faith that reading the information provided on this site will motivate you to be smart about your sleep deprivation and strategic about your alertness in order to live life to your fullest, most energetic potential.

In fact, we challenge you to do so! What do you say, are you up for the challenge?

A Note On Visitor-Submitted Questions:

Publishing sleep stories and questions from our visitors is meant to create a forum for open and proactive dialogue about an extremely important portion of our lives (one that occupies 1/3 of it and affects the other 2/3) that isn't talked about enough. It is not meant to substitute a trip to the doctor or the advice of a specialist. It's good to talk; it is not good to avoid consulting someone who's profession it is to help you with this kind of stuff.

If you are in any way concerned about your sleep health, don't wait for an answer on here, and don't necessarily rely on them. See a sleep specialist in your area as soon as possible.

More Questions:

Ask | Answer

The Stanford Sleep Book

Stanford Sleep Book Picture

Dr. Dement's pioneering textbook has been the core text for Sleep and Dreams since 1980, but it has just recently been made available to the wider public for the first time.

In it you'll find a more detailed account of the most important things you need to know about sleep, alertness, dreams, and sleep disorders. Studies, statistics, plus plenty of Dr. Dement's classic anecdotes painting the history of sleep medicine.

Preface | Intro | Contents | Get A Copy

More Sleep Resources

The Zeo

Track Your Own Sleep With Zeo

A revolution in personal sleep tracking, the Zeo is a wireless headband that transmits your brainwaves in realtime to a dock (pictured here) or your smartphone. The result? You can wake up and see exactly what stages of sleep you were in during the night! Unprecedented personalized sleep knowledge.

Sleep Paralysis: A Dreamer's Guide

Sleep Paralysis Treatment Book

Ever woken up paralyzed? A surprising number of us have, believe it or not. But few know the actual causes of this phenomenon, and fewer still how to exert control over it. Dream researcher and sleep paralysis expert Ryan Hurd shares breakthrough insights into how to do just that.

Important Disclaimer

Please Note:

The information found on this page and throughout this site is intended for general information purposes only. While it may prove useful and empowering, it is NOT intended as a substitute for the expertise and judgments of healthcare practitioners.

For more info, see our
Terms of Use.